I'm Out.

 

 

I’ve tried to objectively state my grievances with Toei, Bandai, and other production houses and toy companies, quite a number of times, here, and over on The Nut Box. Eventually, I come to feel so incredibly clever and proud of the statements I subsequently arrive upon, that I start to edit those posts, and they invariably descend squarely into raving self-righteousness.

I genuinely felt a rebirth of passion with Transformers. However:

1.) It’s ludicrous to cover Transformers in text, as opposed to video, and it’s ABSOLUTELY INSANE to do it when I refuse to spend money on a new camera.

2.) It’s just too expensive of a hobby, innit? At least I didn’t spend that money on Sentai toys, as I am wont to do, when my manic episodes make their unfortunate appearances. Ergo, thank you, Transformers, for helping me with my schizophrenic bullshit.

3.) I want to believe that the movie is enough, but the weight is real. The weight of a franchise completely wedded to a worthless character, when they created a great one that they never gave a chance. Roddy was already written to be weird and awkward, out of the gate, in Season 3. They chose money, just like Toei. I don’t understand the people in this world.

I'd like to thank Doc for the opportunity to write for these blogs. It could easily be argued that it was more harm than good, for me, but I genuinely had fun, in all of the many myriad moments that I did.

Time for me to change. I've got tons of better things to be doing, and I'm going to prove it to that other part of myself.

Running Press RP Minis Ghostbusters Ghost Trap With Light and Sound! (2021)

The trap has always been my favorite piece of Ghostbusters equipment. I’d honestly love to own the blue one from the Real Ghostbusters line, again. Even if I’d have to remove the foot-pedal, seeing as my childhood one ended up becoming sticky. Unfortunately, that variant has succumbed to the same fate as the popcorn buckets tied to Frozen Empire. 

Fucking scalpers...

I want a full-sized trap, someday, but until then, there’s this one, which I’ve been eying at Barnes and Noble for a decent while. The plastic is incredibly sturdy, and the build-quality is high. The paint is mostly clean, but there’s a few tiny rubs on one side, and a MICROSCOPIC bit of overspray on the other. Ghostbusters is the exact kind of property where that actually adds to the authenticity, though.

It has the red rails of the original movie’s traps, and while I prefer 2, as a film, I’m happy with this choice. I’d rather them provide contrast, than blend-in with the side-panel. There are molded wheels, simply for show.

A button on top of the handle is geared to the doors such that you can essentially puppet them. The mechanism is aligned miraculously well. Pushing the button all the way down causes it to lock into place, keeping the doors shut. 3 LR44/AG13 button-cell batteries are included (beneath a screw-guarded panel) to power the lights below the doors, as well as the indicator lights both in front of and behind them. The yellow one remains on for as long as the power-switch does. Similarly, the red one blinks until you’ve turned it off. The switch is VERY VERY small, and there is a bit of play side-to-side within it, but the mechanism feels solid when you’re actually throwing it.

Full disclosure: I am a CASUAL Ghostbusters fan, so I can’t tell you if the sounds for opening the trap and closing it are 100% accurate. I can tell you that they’re loud, crisp, and close-enough. There are three visible LEDs below the light panel: one steady orange, flanked by two blues, which alternate on and off, as long as you have the trap open.

It’s honestly exceptionally nice, if you want a small piece of memorabilia for display. Not sure I’d give it to a very young child, though. The box says 7 and up; I guess that’s fair, as long as you don’t have your jeweler’s screwdrivers laying out.


BONUS: There’s a rather humorous sticker book included. Let’s see, there’s:

• Vaporwave versions of:
• the standard logo
• Stay-Puft
• the Ecto-1
• a trap
• Slimer
• Dana floating
• a nondescript person emitting a proton stream.
• The guys posing on the roof, with Trapperkeeper art overlayed
• Stay-Puft posing in front of a child’s painting
• An Art Deco piece of Dana and Louis
  

Bustin' Makes Us All Feel Good out of 5

Star Wars Lightsaber Forge: Darth Vader (2021)

Welp, this was one of the best decisions of my life.

Almost a decade later, I have to admit that I care about Star Wars, again. Casually. Prequel Era ONLY. I’m once again here for Anakin and Obi-Wan. Have you seen Hayden and Ewan doing things like Agree to Disagree? Beautiful.

I found this on clearance, so I decided to make good on a long-standing idea of mine: A Vader saber for Alessa, to mirror the one I have for Heather. In that capacity, it’s even more apropos than I was expecting, but let’s put a pin in that, for a moment.

Ummm, how about FOREVER, since I just sold all of my Silent Hill media 😂

I think this is a great fucking toy. Force FX and custom saber snobs may scoff at it, but I like toys, dammit. Props are cool, but there’s an appropriateness to having the associated wares. I’m well aware of what I’ve said in the past about this economic model and how it impacts fiction. Hush. I’m moving past that. Plus, that isn’t ALWAYS the case; it isn’t inevitable.

While I’ll openly share that it’s largely hollow, the plastic is really robust. You can bang the pieces together, drop them, and roughhouse with it all as much as you’d like. It feels notably chunkier than my Luke saber and I am 100% here for it. It feels so good, in hand! The half-ring for attaching it to one’s belt is simply painted molding, but that assuages my neuroses about intricacy, and prevents it from flapping around, which is exactly all that it would do for most people. Not everyone is geared-up for cosplay. The activation button depresses for purely cosmetic/role-play reasons; there are absolutely no electronics, in any part of it. Perhaps this shares a mold with the electronic variant?

I keep referring to it as being comprised of parts, because that’s the gimmick of this specific line of sabers: You can pretend that you are building them! Or, disassembling them for repairs. There are push-pin connectors that pop through holes, once a piece is in place. Consequently, the bottom portion can rattle a little bit, but it is NOT coming off, until you depress the pin and pull it out. There’s a BladeBuilders port present, meaning this range is backwards compatible with the line from which my other sabers derived.

The emitter requires you to screw it on, akin to a bottle cap, and it can be put on such that the shielding ends up on the wrong side. Fixing this is as simple as removing it and rotating it 180 degrees, horizontally, before screwing it back on. Even then, there’s no harm in it, other than annoying anal-retentive sticklers for detail. In fact, because there's threading present on both ends of the middle segment, you can assemble this such that it's essentially left-handed. Further, you can utilize this modularity to make it amenable to reverse-handed grips! This level of customization is very appreciated, as lightsabers have a tendency to clutter themselves with power-switch blocks and other doodads. To the point that custom versions of famous sabers can be ordered with or without them, depending on the company.

The bottom piece has a molded and painted Kyber crystal, so you can pretend to bleed it. If you get a Jedi’s saber…you can commune with it? That sounds like what a Jedi would do, since in this case the Force has already lead you to it—it’s already been placed in the saber! It’s a fun role-play feature. I approve.

That said, because of the Kyber crystal’s presence inside the hilt, you have to unscrew the emitter and remove the blade assembly wholesale, if you want to display it un-ignited. Given that putting this together and taking it apart is its raison d'être, I’m not upset, in the slightest.

I can't recommend this enough, especially if you can get it for a few bucks, like I did.

With The Rumor of Lucas's Return, I Think It’s Time To Remake The OT out of 5
I’m full of nuclear takes~

Final Fantasy Trading Card Game (2016-)

 

Jeebus, they photograph well. There'll be a clear image of Shiva, soon enough, worry not.

 

This certainly has some spoilers.
Avoid the labeled sections for the games you want to play yourself.
The part above the cut is about XIII.

 

I have wanted physical representations of XIII ’s Eidolons for…EVER.

Are there toys? Yes.
Are there problems with them? Double yes.

There was a non-transforming shokugan-esque line of them, but they did NOT look good. My (admittedly sometimes faulty) memories are saying that one of them was a chase figure, to boot. …Bahamut, I think. Yes! Final Fantasy Creatures Kai Vol. 3. Bahamut is indeed the secret rare, for the individual releases. Alexander is the one left out of the boxset.

The Play Arts Kai line was home to only two of them: Odin and Shiva. They are known to start breaking down as soon as you transform them. Once.

Whomp, whomp…

Even if they had made the others, they would have required parts-swapping. These designs were never intended for plastic, which is ultimately good, because it means the fiction came first, and marketing wasn’t able to mess it up. But, I WANTED six dollops of icing, dammit.

Enter the Final Fantasy TCG.

They’ve been releasing waves since 2016! I only found out about it, last week… I came across the XIII starter set, when randomly looking for XIII merch, on Amazon. Success, right?!? Well, it seemed so, but that deck is only HALF helpful, if you want cards for all of the Eidolons. Honestly less so, since I only bought two cards from it. Its contents are pretty damn scattershot. To ebay, it was!

There are two notable issues to be aware of, regarding this game/collection:

1.) As someone who was used to paying 15¢ for common Power Rangers cards, and around a $1 for (3 decades old!!!) X-Men ones, these cards are PRICEY. It has really driven home for me how niche, and small, the PR fandom truly is. Final Fantasy is a BIG deal. I get it; I’m part of its cult. Fanboy nutter, sitting right here! When it actually does come to marketing, Squeenix leans into delivering higher-end merchandise. The Play Arts Kai figures are HUGE. You don’t want to know how much complete Triple Triad decks can go for, and the ones I’ve seen could well be reprints! They sell statue sets. There’s that Terra; you know the one.

Positive Spin: These are QUALITY. The backs have a plastic feel; they’re matte, textured, and only bear the TCG logo. Classy. They do fit in holders meant for standard 35pt cards. The world-sized elephant in the room are the sparkles. A LOT of the cards have them. Their overwhelming, blanket density is incredible, but I can see them slamming headlong into some folks’ sensibilities, at a hundred miles per hour. I, for one, have absolutely no problem with them being ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS~

2.) This is a card collection that is still actively being added to—being created! A new wave just recently dropped. If you’re looking for matching ‘sets,’ you may be waiting a while yet for them to be completed. What I’m referring to when I say ‘sets,’ are things like the parties of each game and other kinds of linked groups like organizations, summons, creatures, bosses, etc. There are two preeminent examples to prove my point: There are no Yoshitaka Amano cards for either incarnation of Cecil, or a Tetsuya Nomura card for Squall. That is fuggen WILD, given that all of the other party members of IV and VIII, both permanent AND temporary, have already been made for those respective sets.

Positive Spin: Bandai of Japan and America were working with a franchise that is largely predicated on uniformity, for Super Sentai Battle: Dice-O and the Power Rangers ACG. The imperative to deliver homogenous cards, in an immediately successive manner, is far less pressing for Final Fantasy. That still doesn’t explain Cecil and Squall, though!


Can you wait? Can the world? I dunno, so you might want to make some concessions.

Let’s return to these Eidolons, specifically:

Once you’ve opened an image in the shadowbox, right-click and open it in a new tab, to see it full-sized.

There is indeed a Hecaton with clean, full-body art, to match Alexander, Bahamut, and Shiva; I just very much prefer the one I chose, instead. There wasn’t any benefit to going with the other, because there are no other Brynhildrs or Odins. Those are the ones you’re getting, at this moment in time. Unless you’re okay with Twilight Odin. I am not, as for me, the sequels do not exist. Stiria and Nix have sparkles. Do they ever. But, the cold holofoil look I got in the picture is so fitting that I went with it, without a second's hesitation. I was under the impression that Odin simply had an understated holofoil finish, until I double-checked for the sake of journalistic integrity (this was before taking the above photo, obviously). He has sparkles, too! I had to be directly under a lamp and shake him around to see them, but by g-whiz, he does have them. They look pretty great, to someone who is incredibly biased to colors being presented over a black background. He’s still the oddball, but I love him a whole lot, now. Hmm. Fitting. That’s how I feel about Lightning.

They all have textboxes bearing their elemental symbols. You can get some of them as full-arts, though. Don’t worry, you won’t, because those are even more ludicrously expensive! I’m choosing to believe that’s an upside-down magatama, because Alexander is not Wind. You try telling me, or any other FF fan, that he isn’t Holy. I feel like Bahamut should be Wind…because Highwind.

Fanboy bullshit aside, I’m telling you that between the sparkles and the textboxes there IS a DEGREE of uniformity. I’m happy. Incredibly happy.

I’ll be going DEEP, below the cut, detailing sets and assembling some for your my viewing pleasure 😜


2024 Update:

The new Hidden Hope set has the remaining two Eidolons, as illustrated by Toshitaka Matsuda (Alexander and Shiva)! I HAVE A FULLY MATCHING MATSUDA SET!!!!!!!!!!

4 Only Because of the Prices (That I’m Paying Regardless) out of 5

BMC Toys American Hero Collector Series: Authentic Bowie Knife (2022)

 

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

It’s incredibly lightweight, could use some weathering, and shrieks a bit, if you squeeze the handle. I would say, ‘just don’t do that,’ and honestly you shouldn’t, but it can take it, if you’re in mind to do your own stress-testing. It’s akin to Leonardo’s katana, in that its equivalent of a hilt is similarly held together with screws. Twice as many as Mr. Blue Dye’s is, in fact. While the blade can take a decent amount of force, I’m not sure I agree with the packaging that 3+ is the appropriate age range; a particularly aggressive child could easily wreck this thing. For an adult collector, it’s a sure bet. I’d feel perfectly comfortable dropping it. It’s deliberately folding it in half that concerns me.

If you have the talent necessary to dirty this up, it will look a LOT better. Especially the handle, as it is molded to resemble wood-grain and has a number of faux screws to match the real ones, on the back. Wonderful for cosplay, or young, careful and considerate history buffs, given that there’s even facts about Jim Bowie and the Alamo, on the back of the card! Makes me want to visit a museum (and its gift shop) with Henry Rollins, in tow.

Suit Yourself Costume Co. Bloody Cleaver ()

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media. 

Yeah, it’s HUGE. Good. 

When I pulled this out of the package, I was genuinely bummed out. If you aren’t aware, chrome has a tendency to flake off. I tried my best to avoid it like the plague, in my toy collecting days. Unfortunately, there is indeed a tiny spot that is already barren, on the back. There was a single hope, however: It was possible that this was paint. The company’s website does state that it is, “Molded & painted to look like [a] wooden handle with [a] blood stained steel blade.” I.e., not vac-metallized.

Still, there was that one spot… Figuring I had lost out, I did something rash: I scratched it VERY FUCKING HARD, for an extended amount of time, directly over and adjacent to the offending spot. Multiple times. Nothing. Nothing at all. It makes me wonder how that damage occurred in the first place. I’m genuinely in awe of the tenacity of this alleged paint. Meaning, I’m inclined to believe them.

I mentioned that this has a back. How exactly is that the case? There’s a roughly half-dollar-sized raised area, on one side. I imagine it has something to do with the manufacturing process. It certainly forces the hand of anyone who wants to display it, or take pictures with it. You’ll also have to hope that if you have any bare spots, they’re on the same side as the circle. I recommend purchasing it at the source, or from a seller that only has one of them, and the pictures show that the blade is still wrapped in its plastic bag, not simply nakedly attached to the backing card.

There was a bit of flash, in the hole of the blade, but I was able to swiftly remove it with no hassle. It pays to know that this is distressingly hollow. Though, that’s likely a boon, as again, it is quite massive. A review on their site says that it feels good in the hand, in spite of that; I completely agree. Another says that they managed to break it, “by the end of the night.” Yeah, it’s hollow, but I can only imagine it breaking if it was actually able to reach terminal velocity from a drop onto concrete…or, were they were deliberately hitting things and/or people with it? Don’t do that. I genuinely shouldn’t have to say that, but I know that I must. Bear in mind that non-human animals are people, and that this is for individuals 14+.

Also, don’t run your finger along the edge, as there are some very resilient burrs present. They aren’t big enough to draw the eye, but they are big enough to scratch someone. I’m glad of the former, because I would not recommend sanding this. That’d definitely remove paint.

I feel compelled to mention the gradient of the blood. It’s a deep plum, at its darkest, and ruggedly pink at its peak. I approve.

Having stress-tested the paint to the extreme degree that I did, I have to admit that this is paradoxically nice, in spite of its numerous considerations. It’s comically big, but it’s kitschy fun. Unlike that other piece of shit. Still, I may start finding paint flakes the next time I clean my cabinets, so I’ll enjoy it while it lasts. Whether that’s years, or simply months.

Just shy of June 2024 and we're still good. I'd say this is second to the Dolanus in terms of pieces I'm happy to keep, having left Silent Hill. It really is just a fun thing to heft, or simply see while walking by my cabinets.

Disguise Cleaver (2015)

I intend to have the camera issue sorted, for next year.
For now, I expect what I always expect: for you to (ultimately) make up your own damn mind. 

This is a case of a seller using pictures of a piece that is in better condition than the one that they end up sending you. It happens.

The paint on mine is pockmarked, marred, and inconsistent. All over, but notably on the spine. That’s where the only support rod resides, meaning the vast majority of the blade has a wobbly feel, in the weirdest of ways. Part of me wants to compare it to a slice of meat—a portion of filleted fish, to be 100% precise.

The handle has a few ‘cracks.’ I.e., places where the foam has split. This is honestly exactly the thing I was afraid of, when I was first purchasing foam weapons. But, they haven’t grown/gotten worse, over time.

YOU KNOW WHAT?!? I am sick and fucking tired of rationalizing everything. If something sucks, I'm going to say it sucks. This thing pisses me off. It's in horrible shape, and that's the seller's fault; not mine. I pay attention to feedback and reputation; I take careful note of the pictures used. This is not the one that was pictured. It does indeed happen, but that doesn't mean I have to be okay with it.

This is shit. Looks like shit. Feels like shit. Shitty shit shit.

0 out of 5,

X-Men '97 Wolverine Claws (2023)

 

Spirit, you spoil me~

You’re going to have to examine them carefully, because the three pairs at the first store I visited were scuffed-up pretty grievously. The next only had one set. They aren’t flawless, but none of my blades are. Compared to the ones at the initial stop, these are pristine. The sculpting is exactly what I’d expect. Top marks. They can flex side to side, but only if you’re applying that vector of force, to them. Even then, shaking your hand sideways barely causes them to move. They’re exactly as sturdy as I’d like them to be. They’re a dream, in this regard.

Their business length (i.e., past the knuckle curves) is 11’’.

As previously mentioned, my hands are decently large. These work, but with an important caveat: If I want them to properly hug the top curve of my hand, for pictures making them appear as if they are protruding from the skin on the back of my hand, I have to grip them with the lower parts of my fingers, at a higher position, as opposed to just holding the bars. In point of fact, the space provided for a person’s knuckles is too big for me, which is weird, because I figured these were made for kids. Even as someone who cracks his knuckles, I don’t innately fill them out. But, the effect is achievable.

The bars look pretty small (which is why I thought they were for kids), but holding onto them fully, knuckle-gaps be damned, is perfectly comfortable. It’s exactly how I’ve always imagined a pair would feel. Usually, when people have made their own, or gotten them from Etsy, plain metal or wooden bars are used. I am so ridiculously pleased that thought went into the fact that these will be sitting on a shelf, most of the time.

Will there be a second release, with his brown and yellow costume, in mind?

Could I get a set of bone claws with wifebeater-white and denim-patterned paint? Please?!


I’m not going to lie, purchasing these is invariably a gamble. You can kinda squeeze yourself in, to grip the bars, a little bit, when they’re strapped to the cardboard, but not fully. Not without wrecking the board. Don’t be that guy. Accept that these are a dice-roll. I’m enough of a whackjob fanboy nutter to have taken the chance. Partially because these are probably the best I'm going to find on a retail shelf, for the foreseeable future.

No, do not bring up Marvel’s equivalent of Decade/Gokaiger, to me.

Now, excuse me while I go order those Jubilee glasses…SOLD OUT. SON OF A…


4 Movies They Will Never Erase, No Matter How Hard They Try out of 5

Ju(n)da Toys Swat Team: Swat 9mm Pistol (mfg. 2023)

 

If you're going to get one of these, you're going to want to put some thought into how it will end up leaving your possession. I would NOT recommend donating it. Further, know that I have never answered the door with it in my hand. Heed that advice yourself. Don't respond to the bell with a Wiimote in your grasp, either.

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

I was glad when the blue of the Dolanus pistol was darker than it appears in promotional photography, but this, THIS is what I’ve had in mind on this quest. It’s so goddamn good, man. Yes, I attempted to crudely color-correct the photo. It's deep blue, but looks alarmingly lighter under a flash, is the salient point. What you see is not only how it looks in my subterranean abode, but also how it appeared, in store.

It’s a similar mold to Spirit’s, but slightly more resilient. I would still avoid dropping it, but it genuinely does feel more sturdy. The battery door is actually flush with the bottom of the grip, on this one. That’s a definite aesthetic improvement. The sound seems similar to the orange’s audio clip, which is better than the black one's. I'm going based on memory for the latter comparison; if I'm wrong, tough.

THE SLIDE MOVES WHEN YOU PULL THE TRIGGER, JUST LIKE THE DOLANUS!!! And, it can actually be clicked into place, for display. DUDE!!!

There were two stickers on opposite sides to one another, on the barrel: One branding it, “Swat Team - Swat Play Set,” and one with manufacturing information. Peculiarly, it added an ’n’ to Juda Toys’ name. They came off cleanly with no hassle whatsoever. So did the price sticker slapped over the original valuation. Selling it for a dollar more than intended? Cheeky bastards. Even still, it was half the price of the others! What the hell, Spirit? It's almost like you're owned by a large corporate entity 😝

If you're buying this for a young person, I must mention that...whatever the hell this thing is, was in the box, as well:

Seriously, what is this? There's a warning for small objects on the box, yes, but this is the only small object, since the battery door is (insanely well) screwed on. I dunno. Adults and older folks should remove the item from the box, and dispose of thiiiis thiiiiing, before handing it over to the intended recipient 😦

Regardless of that weirdness, it's great, if you're in the market for this exact type of thing.

I fucking love bootleg toys 😂😂😂

Dolanus Summer Party Water Pistol (mfg. 2023)

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

I have already been to multiple Spirit stores, this year. It’s crazy how early they chose to open. But, believe me, I am not complaining! From what I’ve seen of their wares, it appears that they are no longer selling the black M92Fs, only safety orange.

I completely understand.

I absolutely bought one, because I thought it may well have been my only recourse. Wouldn’t stick, so here we are.

I have to say that the world of watergun sales is an absolutely wild one. I almost think…well, you know the rest of this sentence. Weird text, almost every seller having suspiciously low feedback, different listings disappearing and showing up every day…

WTF.

There’s almost nothing wrong with this one, if you can manage to find the damn thing. It was the exact same price as Spirit’s, but the plastic is so incredibly dense, in comparison. Plus, you get three clips! They leak, EVER SO SLIGHTLY. Like a random, individual drop will show itself, here and there; not at all constantly. I hope you’re not thinking about playing inside with a watergun, to begin with. Both fill them up and play with this outside, IN YOUR YARD, NOT IN PUBLIC.

THE TOP MOVES WHEN YOU SHOOT!!!
No, I don’t know firearm anatomy, tyvm. The slide, it seems?

The spring mechanism holding in the clips doesn’t FEEL great, when being pressed, but it is surprisingly effective…unless you’re a lefty. Even then, just don’t squeeze the grip super hard. Once you have a clip drop out on you, you’ll be aware of how to handle it. And, unlike those translucent ones sold with other (usually battery-powered) waterguns, these won’t break from a person-level drop. As someone who has owned and reviewed a lot of toys, I’m telling you, the plastic is great. I was reliably able to get 40 shots from each. I’m impressed, based on the waterguns I’ve previously had in my life.

There is one bit of marketing exaggeration afoot: Those hilariously photoshopped pictures claim that it can shoot up to 32’. I would say it’s about 10’, at best. I’m fine with that, now, and I feel like I would have been fine with that when I was a child, too. If you’re not, then you’ll have to go with another item. *shrug*

The tip, the…ejection port (fancy~), and the trigger are orange. Also, the plugs on the bottom of the clips. Obviously, that wasn’t enough to bother me, as opposed to the other one, which was entirely orange, except for the trigger.

It’s a VERY nice size. I have decently large hands, and it honestly feels a bit big, in them. Good times!

I was happy with it for the short time that it was on display, and I’m honestly over the moon with it, now having actually used it! It's the piece of faux-weaponry I'm most jazzed about keeping, in the wake of saying goodbye to Silent Hill. Yeah, they sell pink ones, but this is a rare case where that just isn't the preferable option for me. I adore this more than I ever imagined I would.

Spirit Long Sledge Hammer (2023?)

The mechanisms inside the lens of this camera are borked; count your blessings.

OH, MY STARS AND GARTERS.
Hi Kelsey <333333333

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

 

I would ask if you’re seeing this shit, but my camera is jacked up, so you honestly aren’t… It’s wrapped, and the visible parts are molded to look as if they’re splintering. It honestly doesn't even feel like foam; it's practically plastic. It's glorious.

I wanted a big-ass hammer.
At the time, I wanted something to indicate the fact that Travis’s weapons break.

It took a Pokémon-esque evolution path of purchases, but I finally found it.

This is the one.

Spirit Bloody Butcher's Knife (2023)

The mechanisms inside the lens of this camera are borked; count your blessings.

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

There is an alarmingly accurate real knife, in this house, that I had on my weapons rack, for a few months. Do not follow in my footsteps, because it tried its damnedest to drive itself straight into my foot. Twice. While in many other regards I am assuredly the real-life incarnation of the greatest gambler to ever live, I wasn’t in the mood to go for broke, here. I was not interested in pressing my luck, any further.

Cue Spirit, previewing this year’s wares, on their site. Plastic? Not foam? Be still my heart~ The handle is…not the cheapest, but it is 100% basic. It’s like I’m back in Kindergarten, playing house. The blood splatter is similarly banal. Thankfully, the entirety of the piece feels more robust than their firearm; I absolutely feel comfortable dropping it. In fact, I intentionally did just that! Point-first, right onto my foot, to appease and reset the odds of the universe.

I’m not saying it’s life changing, but in a world where I’m being asked to pay $30 to pre-order a 6'' domestic Danhausen figure, I have suddenly realized that I’m living the dream. So, yes, at the very least I am saying that it’s wonderful, in its own very vanilla ways. Love that Danhausen, but I got my Buster Sword for less than that, man! You people still collecting new figures, in this current era, are getting screwed, without lube.

Costume weaponry and X-Men trading cards, forever!
Anthony Fantano is no friend of mine.

You dumbshit, you're collecting Transformers, again 😂