Star Wars Lightsaber Forge: Darth Vader (2021)

Welp, this was one of the best decisions of my life.

Almost a decade later, I have to admit that I care about Star Wars, again. Casually. Prequel Era ONLY. I’m once again here for Anakin and Obi-Wan. Have you seen Hayden and Ewan doing things like Agree to Disagree? Beautiful.

I found this on clearance, so I decided to make good on a long-standing idea of mine: A Vader saber for Alessa, to mirror the one I have for Heather. In that capacity, it’s even more apropos than I was expecting, but let’s put a pin in that, for a moment.

Ummm, how about FOREVER, since I just sold all of my Silent Hill media 😂

I think this is a great fucking toy. Force FX and custom saber snobs may scoff at it, but I like toys, dammit. Props are cool, but there’s an appropriateness to having the associated wares. I’m well aware of what I’ve said in the past about this economic model and how it impacts fiction. Hush. I’m moving past that. Plus, that isn’t ALWAYS the case; it isn’t inevitable.

While I’ll openly share that it’s largely hollow, the plastic is really robust. You can bang the pieces together, drop them, and roughhouse with it all as much as you’d like. It feels notably chunkier than my Luke saber and I am 100% here for it. It feels so good, in hand! The half-ring for attaching it to one’s belt is simply painted molding, but that assuages my neuroses about intricacy, and prevents it from flapping around, which is exactly all that it would do for most people. Not everyone is geared-up for cosplay. The activation button depresses for purely cosmetic/role-play reasons; there are absolutely no electronics, in any part of it. Perhaps this shares a mold with the electronic variant?

I keep referring to it as being comprised of parts, because that’s the gimmick of this specific line of sabers: You can pretend that you are building them! Or, disassembling them for repairs. There are push-pin connectors that pop through holes, once a piece is in place. Consequently, the bottom portion can rattle a little bit, but it is NOT coming off, until you depress the pin and pull it out. There’s a BladeBuilders port present, meaning this range is backwards compatible with the line from which my other sabers derived.

The emitter requires you to screw it on, akin to a bottle cap, and it can be put on such that the shielding ends up on the wrong side. Fixing this is as simple as removing it and rotating it 180 degrees, horizontally, before screwing it back on. Even then, there’s no harm in it, other than annoying anal-retentive sticklers for detail. In fact, because there's threading present on both ends of the middle segment, you can assemble this such that it's essentially left-handed. Further, you can utilize this modularity to make it amenable to reverse-handed grips! This level of customization is very appreciated, as lightsabers have a tendency to clutter themselves with power-switch blocks and other doodads. To the point that custom versions of famous sabers can be ordered with or without them, depending on the company.

The bottom piece has a molded and painted Kyber crystal, so you can pretend to bleed it. If you get a Jedi’s saber…you can commune with it? That sounds like what a Jedi would do, since in this case the Force has already lead you to it—it’s already been placed in the saber! It’s a fun role-play feature. I approve.

That said, because of the Kyber crystal’s presence inside the hilt, you have to unscrew the emitter and remove the blade assembly wholesale, if you want to display it un-ignited. Given that putting this together and taking it apart is its raison d'être, I’m not upset, in the slightest.

I can't recommend this enough, especially if you can get it for a few bucks, like I did.

With The Rumor of Lucas's Return, I Think It’s Time To Remake The OT out of 5
I’m full of nuclear takes~

Ju(n)da Toys Swat Team: Swat 9mm Pistol (mfg. 2023)

 

If you're going to get one of these, you're going to want to put some thought into how it will end up leaving your possession. I would NOT recommend donating it. Further, know that I have never answered the door with it in my hand. Heed that advice yourself. Don't respond to the bell with a Wiimote in your grasp, either.

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

I was glad when the blue of the Dolanus pistol was darker than it appears in promotional photography, but this, THIS is what I’ve had in mind on this quest. It’s so goddamn good, man. Yes, I attempted to crudely color-correct the photo. It's deep blue, but looks alarmingly lighter under a flash, is the salient point. What you see is not only how it looks in my subterranean abode, but also how it appeared, in store.

It’s a similar mold to Spirit’s, but slightly more resilient. I would still avoid dropping it, but it genuinely does feel more sturdy. The battery door is actually flush with the bottom of the grip, on this one. That’s a definite aesthetic improvement. The sound seems similar to the orange’s audio clip, which is better than the black one's. I'm going based on memory for the latter comparison; if I'm wrong, tough.

THE SLIDE MOVES WHEN YOU PULL THE TRIGGER, JUST LIKE THE DOLANUS!!! And, it can actually be clicked into place, for display. DUDE!!!

There were two stickers on opposite sides to one another, on the barrel: One branding it, “Swat Team - Swat Play Set,” and one with manufacturing information. Peculiarly, it added an ’n’ to Juda Toys’ name. They came off cleanly with no hassle whatsoever. So did the price sticker slapped over the original valuation. Selling it for a dollar more than intended? Cheeky bastards. Even still, it was half the price of the others! What the hell, Spirit? It's almost like you're owned by a large corporate entity 😝

If you're buying this for a young person, I must mention that...whatever the hell this thing is, was in the box, as well:

Seriously, what is this? There's a warning for small objects on the box, yes, but this is the only small object, since the battery door is (insanely well) screwed on. I dunno. Adults and older folks should remove the item from the box, and dispose of thiiiis thiiiiing, before handing it over to the intended recipient 😦

Regardless of that weirdness, it's great, if you're in the market for this exact type of thing.

I fucking love bootleg toys 😂😂😂

Dolanus Summer Party Water Pistol (mfg. 2023)

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

I have already been to multiple Spirit stores, this year. It’s crazy how early they chose to open. But, believe me, I am not complaining! From what I’ve seen of their wares, it appears that they are no longer selling the black M92Fs, only safety orange.

I completely understand.

I absolutely bought one, because I thought it may well have been my only recourse. Wouldn’t stick, so here we are.

I have to say that the world of watergun sales is an absolutely wild one. I almost think…well, you know the rest of this sentence. Weird text, almost every seller having suspiciously low feedback, different listings disappearing and showing up every day…

WTF.

There’s almost nothing wrong with this one, if you can manage to find the damn thing. It was the exact same price as Spirit’s, but the plastic is so incredibly dense, in comparison. Plus, you get three clips! They leak, EVER SO SLIGHTLY. Like a random, individual drop will show itself, here and there; not at all constantly. I hope you’re not thinking about playing inside with a watergun, to begin with. Both fill them up and play with this outside, IN YOUR YARD, NOT IN PUBLIC.

THE TOP MOVES WHEN YOU SHOOT!!!
No, I don’t know firearm anatomy, tyvm. The slide, it seems?

The spring mechanism holding in the clips doesn’t FEEL great, when being pressed, but it is surprisingly effective…unless you’re a lefty. Even then, just don’t squeeze the grip super hard. Once you have a clip drop out on you, you’ll be aware of how to handle it. And, unlike those translucent ones sold with other (usually battery-powered) waterguns, these won’t break from a person-level drop. As someone who has owned and reviewed a lot of toys, I’m telling you, the plastic is great. I was reliably able to get 40 shots from each. I’m impressed, based on the waterguns I’ve previously had in my life.

There is one bit of marketing exaggeration afoot: Those hilariously photoshopped pictures claim that it can shoot up to 32’. I would say it’s about 10’, at best. I’m fine with that, now, and I feel like I would have been fine with that when I was a child, too. If you’re not, then you’ll have to go with another item. *shrug*

The tip, the…ejection port (fancy~), and the trigger are orange. Also, the plugs on the bottom of the clips. Obviously, that wasn’t enough to bother me, as opposed to the other one, which was entirely orange, except for the trigger.

It’s a VERY nice size. I have decently large hands, and it honestly feels a bit big, in them. Good times!

I was happy with it for the short time that it was on display, and I’m honestly over the moon with it, now having actually used it! It's the piece of faux-weaponry I'm most jazzed about keeping, in the wake of saying goodbye to Silent Hill. Yeah, they sell pink ones, but this is a rare case where that just isn't the preferable option for me. I adore this more than I ever imagined I would.

Mattel Aquaman Basic Figure (2018)

The universe finally brought me my Arthur!!!

I knew if I waited long enough, one would find its way into my life. This one appears to be the most basic issuance explicitly tied to the movie itself. You can also find it (with slight paint differences) in a 3-pack with Ocean Master and the Brine King. If you’re interested in that variation, follow in the footsteps of the guy who bid $0.01, not the one who splashed out $100~

There’s a single dot of paint missing from one of his gauntlets (presumably due to play), which I have absolutely no problem just living with, but I do have to mention that Mattel’s attempt at placing highlights into his his hair and beard is a little crude. That said, at a distance, it is better than Hasbro’s poop-smears from the War for Cybertron trilogy of Transformers toylines. We haven’t mastered the art of perfectly articulating characters with long hair, yet, but he can turn his head enough to look stoically into the distance at an artistic angle. I think that’s the best we can expect, at this point in time. Honestly, this is a shockingly good face portrait for a Western-released budget figure. It doesn’t seem to be outright faceprinting like Marvel Legends utilize, but there are glints of shiny life in his eyes.

Oh, and his forearms, here and elsewhere, look like corn cobs. You’re welcome~

He is supposed to come with the pictured, associated trident, but it was not present with mine. I’m going to be keeping an eye out for it, both at flea markets and on ebay. It looks to be incredibly pliable, but I do have experience with bending such materials back into their original positions, or user-desired ones. Speaking of which, the skirting pieces attached to his belt are a mite stiff, but Arthur’s joints are quite stern to match, if you'd like to warp them to accommodate a certain pose, over time.

Frankly, I am in utter disbelief of how tight they are, across the board, especially considering that my figure is a loose example, as alluded to. There is absolutely no doubt that he is going to stand proudly, true, and completely unshakable.

Also, ALONE. The matching Mera's face is incomprehensibly generic. Though, I've long been both resolved to and happy at the thought of Arthur being the sole figural representational of the film, on my shelf.

 I cannot describe how happy I am that this has indeed come to pass.

4½ Examples of Worthiness Through Simplicity out of 5

BladeBuilders Basic Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker Lightsaber Heather Mason Beam Saber (2017?)

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.

A little while back, I was visiting one of my favorite flea market stalls, and saw a familiar sight: the vacuous back-end of a BladeBuilders Lightsaber. Except the blade was nowhere to be seen… Turns out they released a basic version without sounds, meaning there was room in the hilt for the blade to completely retract into!

SOLD!

I alluded to it ever so briefly in my review of the electronic variant, but what sells me on Luke’s Jedi saber are the colors of lower-tier versions of it. High-end replicas accurately recreate the lathed-out, delicately rendered area below the emitter, as well as its copper coloring. Cheap ones? They fill it in and slather it with orange paint. Yeah, it looks crude, but I’ll take crude and solid over daintiness any day of the millennium.

This specific version is much more of a costume accessory than a fully-featured toy…on its own. Since I shamefully failed to mention it in the other review, the open end is designed to take connector pieces that allow you to Frankenstein different sabers together. Obviously, this exact one didn’t come with any, but it doesn’t seem that new examples will, either. I remember that the electronic one came with a single connector, but there are some sabers that come with multiples. I’m not going to rain on a child’s creativity just because I’m an old curmudgeon. It’s a neat system, even if it isn’t for me. And, the empty end ports have never bothered me. A gimmick that doesn’t significantly compromise a toy? Be still my heart~

The only complaint I can personally lodge against it is that the pieces of the blade nest together in a specific way. Though, there’s no actual harm to them being crammed in willy-nilly, as thick and robust as they are. A kid is free to have stress-less fun; I’m the one who has to take a minute to fiddle with it, to get them all satisfyingly aligned, as pictured.

No rest for the anal-retentive.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:Leonardo('s) Katana (2015)

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media. 

 

I'm super pleased with this katana. There's a number of variants out there, Halloween props and otherwise. This one can be found at Party City, yes, but some of the tooling is actually toy-aisle worthy! The blade isn't bent, that's just how it's sculpted, as it's rather thick. It's costume accessory quality, but definitely at the high-end of that range. The hilt is what resides in Toy Town, as it's held together with screws! I know, I know, Hollywood-style square guard, but I'm not going to be rolling over it in the shadows.

The price is overly steep, but at the time I thought it was completing my collection, so I accepted it. Yes, this is a 2017 Update and they are still just as expensive. I'd honestly say pass, at this point, unless you specifically want it for its intended purpose. Otherwise, get this!

Gashapon Ghost Eyecon Set 08: Kamen Rider Gaim (2016)

An explanation of the Eyecons can be found in Neg's first Ghost related post. I'll add only that they're approx 55mm in diameter, about the size of a small mandarin fruit or one of Henry Rollins' testicles [unverified claim]. It seems like they might comfortably take a knock or two and not fall to pieces; i.e. drop it on carpet and it should be fine, but drop it on concrete and there'll be tears.
The Gaim version, as featured in episode three of KR Ghost: Legendary! Riders' Souls! (2016), has an orange coloured iris, referencing Gaim's Orange Arms form. The other three sides are as you'd expect, with the number being R15.

For someone who really enjoyed Gaim and unashamedly likes clicky-clicky buttons (me on both counts), it's a fun and manageable addition to the shelf.

3½ grateful nods to Neg out of 5

Candy Toy Ghost Eyecon Set 1: Musashi (2015)

I'm leaving this here out of respect to Doc's efforts in reviewing the Eyecon I gifted him.

 

By pressing the button on the right side of Ghost Eyecons, you can flip through four images: An iris, its specific number or letter (here, 01), the facial design of the form it grants, and the symbol of its hissatsu. If you have open shelves, or pets that have free reign around your collection, these may become a cleaning issue given their lenses. I had to open every candy toy and gashapon Eyecon I received to remove detritus from inside, right out of the box (or bag). The biggest issue I had was with Musashi, however: the stickers were printed off-center. I was able to fix them, but it wasn't fun, or particularly safe.

In gashapon and candy toy Eyecons, those stickers (and the ones up top) are flat, not glittery and holographic like the DXs'. The print quality isn’t fantastic, either. The QC issues and the print quality are bad enough, but at this point I find the idea of the gimmick itself quite silly. Of course it has a lot to do with what I feel about what happened with the show after the first arc.

A list of the availability of DX Eyecons is below the cut.

They Had 1 Last Shot and They Blew It out of 5

BladeBuilders Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker Lightsaber (2017?)

I'm going to excise my ramblings, leaving nothing but my assessment of the piece itself, since I have parted with all of my Silent Hill media.  

This is a pretty standard telescoping affair, but it does have a rudimentary motion sensor to modulate the sounds. It has power-up and power-down sounds, in addition to the requisite hum, swooshes and clashes. For the price, it works worked perfectly for my purposes, as I'm I was in the process of collecting a weapon for each of the Silent Hill protagonists. There's even a bit of orange on the hilt. Good enough.

For a description of the BladeBuilders gimmick, please see my review of the basic version of this saber, here.