I'm Out.

 

 

I’ve tried to objectively state my grievances with Toei, Bandai, and other production houses and toy companies, quite a number of times, here, and over on The Nut Box. Eventually, I come to feel so incredibly clever and proud of the statements I subsequently arrive upon, that I start to edit those posts, and they invariably descend squarely into raving self-righteousness.

I genuinely felt a rebirth of passion with Transformers. However:

1.) It’s ludicrous to cover Transformers in text, as opposed to video, and it’s ABSOLUTELY INSANE to do it when I refuse to spend money on a new camera.

2.) It’s just too expensive of a hobby, innit? At least I didn’t spend that money on Sentai toys, as I am wont to do, when my manic episodes make their unfortunate appearances. Ergo, thank you, Transformers, for helping me with my schizophrenic bullshit.

3.) I want to believe that the movie is enough, but the weight is real. The weight of a franchise completely wedded to a worthless character, when they created a great one that they never gave a chance. Roddy was already written to be weird and awkward, out of the gate, in Season 3. They chose money, just like Toei. I don’t understand the people in this world.

I'd like to thank Doc for the opportunity to write for these blogs. It could easily be argued that it was more harm than good, for me, but I genuinely had fun, in all of the many myriad moments that I did.

Time for me to change. I've got tons of better things to be doing, and I'm going to prove it to that other part of myself.

Running Press RP Minis Ghostbusters Ghost Trap With Light and Sound! (2021)

The trap has always been my favorite piece of Ghostbusters equipment. I’d honestly love to own the blue one from the Real Ghostbusters line, again. Even if I’d have to remove the foot-pedal, seeing as my childhood one ended up becoming sticky. Unfortunately, that variant has succumbed to the same fate as the popcorn buckets tied to Frozen Empire. 

Fucking scalpers...

I want a full-sized trap, someday, but until then, there’s this one, which I’ve been eying at Barnes and Noble for a decent while. The plastic is incredibly sturdy, and the build-quality is high. The paint is mostly clean, but there’s a few tiny rubs on one side, and a MICROSCOPIC bit of overspray on the other. Ghostbusters is the exact kind of property where that actually adds to the authenticity, though.

It has the red rails of the original movie’s traps, and while I prefer 2, as a film, I’m happy with this choice. I’d rather them provide contrast, than blend-in with the side-panel. There are molded wheels, simply for show.

A button on top of the handle is geared to the doors such that you can essentially puppet them. The mechanism is aligned miraculously well. Pushing the button all the way down causes it to lock into place, keeping the doors shut. 3 LR44/AG13 button-cell batteries are included (beneath a screw-guarded panel) to power the lights below the doors, as well as the indicator lights both in front of and behind them. The yellow one remains on for as long as the power-switch does. Similarly, the red one blinks until you’ve turned it off. The switch is VERY VERY small, and there is a bit of play side-to-side within it, but the mechanism feels solid when you’re actually throwing it.

Full disclosure: I am a CASUAL Ghostbusters fan, so I can’t tell you if the sounds for opening the trap and closing it are 100% accurate. I can tell you that they’re loud, crisp, and close-enough. There are three visible LEDs below the light panel: one steady orange, flanked by two blues, which alternate on and off, as long as you have the trap open.

It’s honestly exceptionally nice, if you want a small piece of memorabilia for display. Not sure I’d give it to a very young child, though. The box says 7 and up; I guess that’s fair, as long as you don’t have your jeweler’s screwdrivers laying out.


BONUS: There’s a rather humorous sticker book included. Let’s see, there’s:

• Vaporwave versions of:
• the standard logo
• Stay-Puft
• the Ecto-1
• a trap
• Slimer
• Dana floating
• a nondescript person emitting a proton stream.
• The guys posing on the roof, with Trapperkeeper art overlayed
• Stay-Puft posing in front of a child’s painting
• An Art Deco piece of Dana and Louis
  

Bustin' Makes Us All Feel Good out of 5

Star Wars Lightsaber Forge: Darth Vader (2021)

Welp, this was one of the best decisions of my life.

Almost a decade later, I have to admit that I care about Star Wars, again. Casually. Prequel Era ONLY. I’m once again here for Anakin and Obi-Wan. Have you seen Hayden and Ewan doing things like Agree to Disagree? Beautiful.

I found this on clearance, so I decided to make good on a long-standing idea of mine: A Vader saber for Alessa, to mirror the one I have for Heather. In that capacity, it’s even more apropos than I was expecting, but let’s put a pin in that, for a moment.

Ummm, how about FOREVER, since I just sold all of my Silent Hill media 😂

I think this is a great fucking toy. Force FX and custom saber snobs may scoff at it, but I like toys, dammit. Props are cool, but there’s an appropriateness to having the associated wares. I’m well aware of what I’ve said in the past about this economic model and how it impacts fiction. Hush. I’m moving past that. Plus, that isn’t ALWAYS the case; it isn’t inevitable.

While I’ll openly share that it’s largely hollow, the plastic is really robust. You can bang the pieces together, drop them, and roughhouse with it all as much as you’d like. It feels notably chunkier than my Luke saber and I am 100% here for it. It feels so good, in hand! The half-ring for attaching it to one’s belt is simply painted molding, but that assuages my neuroses about intricacy, and prevents it from flapping around, which is exactly all that it would do for most people. Not everyone is geared-up for cosplay. The activation button depresses for purely cosmetic/role-play reasons; there are absolutely no electronics, in any part of it. Perhaps this shares a mold with the electronic variant?

I keep referring to it as being comprised of parts, because that’s the gimmick of this specific line of sabers: You can pretend that you are building them! Or, disassembling them for repairs. There are push-pin connectors that pop through holes, once a piece is in place. Consequently, the bottom portion can rattle a little bit, but it is NOT coming off, until you depress the pin and pull it out. There’s a BladeBuilders port present, meaning this range is backwards compatible with the line from which my other sabers derived.

The emitter requires you to screw it on, akin to a bottle cap, and it can be put on such that the shielding ends up on the wrong side. Fixing this is as simple as removing it and rotating it 180 degrees, horizontally, before screwing it back on. Even then, there’s no harm in it, other than annoying anal-retentive sticklers for detail. In fact, because there's threading present on both ends of the middle segment, you can assemble this such that it's essentially left-handed. Further, you can utilize this modularity to make it amenable to reverse-handed grips! This level of customization is very appreciated, as lightsabers have a tendency to clutter themselves with power-switch blocks and other doodads. To the point that custom versions of famous sabers can be ordered with or without them, depending on the company.

The bottom piece has a molded and painted Kyber crystal, so you can pretend to bleed it. If you get a Jedi’s saber…you can commune with it? That sounds like what a Jedi would do, since in this case the Force has already lead you to it—it’s already been placed in the saber! It’s a fun role-play feature. I approve.

That said, because of the Kyber crystal’s presence inside the hilt, you have to unscrew the emitter and remove the blade assembly wholesale, if you want to display it un-ignited. Given that putting this together and taking it apart is its raison d'être, I’m not upset, in the slightest.

I can't recommend this enough, especially if you can get it for a few bucks, like I did.

With The Rumor of Lucas's Return, I Think It’s Time To Remake The OT out of 5
I’m full of nuclear takes~